Categories
blogging drugs health life mental illness self-reflection sociology words writing

The Day of Days… Was Another Struggle of a Day

My condition was fighting hard today. But I fought hard, too. It’s a battle of will. I fought hard. And my medication did a lot of heavy lifting; I could feel it. I’m proud of myself for today, and of science and modern medicine. It’s not perfect, bu it’s a fighting chance. I get this feeling like, I have to do these things just to survive. I have to do things or I’ll die. Like keep writing this blog post–I couldn’t stop just now b/c my life was threatened. Is this scary? I’m sorry. It’s not very specific or detailed, though, is it?

I have seen a lot of warmth on the wordpress community. The worst that happens is you get ignored–which can be pretty bad when you need some form of nourishment or attention–but definitely could be worse. But that’s with my reality goggles on. Really, everything’s a nightmare when you’re insane. I won’t bore you with the details.

I’m working on a novel with the owner of Pretty Words for Ugly Thoughts, and we work really well together. I still get spikes of paranoia just like I do with everyone I know and meet, but it’s been so much better lately. Writing actually feels good. Soooo many notes/comments lol. We cleaned those up at the end of today.

I need to do some grooming tomorrow before my first day back to work. That means: shower, clip fingernails, clip toenails. That’s a lot, for someone with executive dysfunction!

I’m running out of thing to say.  I wish I could tell you more about everything right now but it doesn’t feel safe, so… I’ll leave it at that.

~varjak

By varjakBaby

Clinging, reaching out. Crying wolf when it's reasonable--all the fucking time. No one listens; you may free your ladder from the basement as due to rescue the light on the roof of the night sky. Favorite cheeses, in no particular order: Gouda, muenster, provolone, Havarti, Monterey Jack.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s