They told us, in the mandatory all-day group communication class at my company, that 90% of communication happens through body language and eye contact.

They asked us, What do you think this means?

I raised my hand:

“Sensationalized fabricated data and preaching?”

Not the answer they wanted to hear.

I took my smoke break during the intermission.

Suffered the rest of the course.

Next exercise:

Sit back-to-back with your assigned partner and describe the shape made of triangles. The other one has to build that shape out of triangle blocks on a grid. They can ask as many questions as they want, but all you can do is answer those questions.

They told us the optimal strategy was to ask an equal balance of direct questions and open-ended questions.

I asked specific, direct questions, one every few seconds, like a rail gun, exclusively.

We finished first.

Not what they wanted to hear.

At the end of class we had to introduce ourselves to our classmates. We had to say one positive thing about each person we met.

One of the bitches and I introduced. We exchanged names. We stared into each others eyes. A back-breakingly tense silence. And in here face, the words written, explicitly: I WANT TO FUCK YOU.

I wished her good luck with her future.

The course ended and I drove home.

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