Buuuut I guess I’m a rape victim so I have to do ridiculous things.
I guess I could eat a lot of healthy food (soup with like green beans in it) but that wouldn’t solve anything. Eating is eating and it’s just for fun, I don’t really need that many calories, I don’t need to run a marathon tomorrow, you jack shits. Well anyway I’m not angry I’m just talkative. What is the problem this time?
Not much excitement in my life these days. Nothing cognitively engaging. “Smart stuff” is usually pretty fucking insipid and literally sold as “education” for money.
Scams. Scams everywhere you look.
I guess that noise that aggressive noise that was mega ingloriously against me was the roided up neighbors. They lift a lot so they have to do drugs to attract sex partners because they lack any semblance of kindness or personality to do so, so I understand. Some people are just failures but I guess that’s nothing new.
I’m legally homeless. I’m writing this on a stolen laptop at a cafe where I also respectively stole someone’s drink. It says “Charles” on the cup which is a very boring name and my family is utterly wretched. I don’t visit them often. My console cable for programming the Cisco router in my room isn’t here till the last week of the month but at least I had a bottle of wine and hopefully I’ve mellowed out and won’t need anymore. I would like to stop drinking. I would like to continue writing but the world is awesomly mega fucking ingloriously against me.
I’m so angry. I don’t know what to do.
Went to the marina with mom. It’s a nice little place.
I might have initiated a lawsuit against my psychiatrist last night, I’m not entirely sure. I was drunk so I don’t totally remember what I said. I called my legal counsel and described the situation (briefly, overview) and then they said some stuff and I said OK. So, I hope I’m not on the hook for like thousands in legal fees just like that. That would be a major bummer and then I would have to lie to my dad about my finances more because he owns me and I have no autonomy and definitely no freedom to make mistakes. So anyway Nazis win. G.G n.n
Common misconception that the internet is a portal into the world. No exploration.