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I am not sure you are capable of emotion.

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blogging

Sonoma wines taste like dirt. I guess some people like that.

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Mega-strong dose of LSD needed right now.

Schedule 1. Wah-wah.

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blogging

The parents want everything from me; they want my life, they want my soul.

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blogging

Played tennis with the brother. Sprained my knee. We were banging balls (rather inconsistently) for a good 30-45 min up until that point. I’d say I got a good workout. I didn’t shower after because showering is hard for me but I did change into comfortable home clothes. I feel much better after some exercise. My brother was droning on about how he believes how good exercise is for him now, in metabolic and other ways. He’s had problems with fatigue so I mean, I guess he found the golden ticket. Kind of a no-brainer but the hard part about exercise is doing it.

Some Costco pizza for dinner I guess, and, more Magic organization and deck building. Brother offered to play today but I don’t expect he’s going to ask me, I’ll have to ask him, and I don’t want to bother him / he’s got better things to do. He’s so independent and has such a good life without me. I don’t want to rain on his parade.

Music, found some new good music today, rediscovered some oldies. Don’t like music that much still, can only listen for about fifteen minutes before getting utterly sick of it. Which blows, because it used to be such a source of energy and inspiration for me. Well anyway it’s day 2 sober so it’s bound to be a readjustment period.

Haven’t contacted any of my doctors in weeks now. Feels good man.

Beyond that, not much to speak of. Boring life with lots of chores and things that need to get done that I definitely don’t want to get done. Need to prepare for some interviews on Tuesday morning. Need to check my e-mail but still horrified of checking my e-mail or my phone or my texts. Always feel like people are yelling at me. I don’t know why everyone yells at me all the time. It’s not really fair.

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blogging

Too scared to check my e-mail. Might be like, real life important things in there. Or like, people who are too serious, talking at me, about things that are too serious, which then stress me out and make my condition worse, thus disenabling me from participating in said serious things they seem to enjoy harassing me with. It’s a complicated vicious cycle, but really, not that complicated.

Will be playing tennis again today with brothers. Mother will come along for a walk around the park. It’s not too interesting for me but I make due. At least it is a little bit of exercise. My mobility on the court is not so good. I weighed myself on our broken scale and I weigh anywhere from between 140 and 190 pounds. Hmm.

So anyway yeah. Finished up an enchantment creature / bestow deck for MTG. Would like to create and fine tune a Phyrexia deck (big fan of the Phyrexia universe). Still need to play D&D with brother & mom, it will be a learning experience regardless. I have trouble forcing myself to do things I don’t want to do, like reading when I find the literature rudimentary or slow, or listening to music without any musicality. [Snob!] So in any case, it’s tough to prepare for fun times if the preparation itself is not fun times. Funny how that goes, isn’t it? Playing games is hard work. I wonder why. Is there a moral in it or something? I hope not. I don’t like morals about hard work. They all seem like preachy brainwashing. The only moral I know about hard work is: Dont do it; you’ll die.

So that’s about it for now. Not sure what to do with myself until tennis, which will likely be in the afternoon, and after that I’ll want to play a game of Magic with the brother, but then after that there’s… I just have too much free time and I’m not capable of spending it wisely. It’s a cryin’ shame.

Yeah. I suppose that is all. Thank you for stopping by. Have a good one.