Looking for a swanky wallpaper. Let me know if you know of one (market) or (otherwise).

Best Wishes,

Muhhamed Jihad Muhhamed Jihad Muhhamed Jihad


Time to bitch at some pricks:

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck I fuck fuck fuck I am tired Jesus fucking Christ.

Writing is hard when everything is hard. Hoary garbage. Nothing is filtered anymore!

What a loss. Life was good.

Cya, fuckers.


I don’t know what to do. I fell asleep really early last night and slept really well all night, despite accidentally wearing a medium-strength nicotine patch to bed.

I mean, now, as of, this morning. I’m not sure. I need to study study study web design, fix fix fix the problem with Unity why doesn’t it open or install in Linux? And go go go do do do like the economy and my family want me to. I need a job, even if it’s a year away, I need a career and a way to stay alive, to support my family (mom, dad, 2 brothers), to have an occupation that satisfies my wanderlust and curiosity and staves off the lazy-pazies.

Sigh. I’m not sure, man. I really don’t know. Yesterday I just wanted to talk all day (never mind the horrifying medical reasons for that) and today I just want to have fun. I don’t even know how to do that–nothing is fun (probably because of my lack of dopamine from the two antipsychotics, wah-wah, mega-stupid, my loss). So. I’m sort of like pining for things that aren’t there. Which I guess people with dead loved ones do all the time. Except it’s kind of a twist/twisted, cuz my stuff IS there–my brain just rejects it. It blows. (Not hating on people with dead loved ones–that’s super-twisted too).

I should eat but I don’t want to.

I should write poetry but I don’t have any creative juice.

I should stay in touch with–nahhhhhh. Don’t stay in touch with anyone. People are bad news Bear Sterns.

Well anyway. I wrote a blog post and did that make things any better? Who’s to say? I know you all hate me for being so abusive and hateful on here, but I know I know, and I apologize, but really, notice how I haven’t been banned yet. That’s how it works. This blog is my space to write. So that’s just how it is. If I ever swear in the future, and cuss and accuse the human species of all it’s crimes that it really actually commits–know it’s out of love. <3 muah n.n~