I go through this really funny routine in the morning. First I’ll rinse my mouth with water to get the puss/saliva out from the night, if I’m lucky I’ll do that. Then I put a nicotine lozenge in my mouth. Then I put my nicotine patch on. Then I have a coffee. Do stuff. Second coffee. Do more stuff. Third coffee.
No change of fresh clothes unless really gross.
Check email. Aww, no email. Wait are you sure? Double check email. How could no one possibly email me? Aren’t I, like, a really important person? I don’t get it…
Yeah so now I’m here. Wandering about, aimless. I have my routine but the more I have it the more I hate it. I have to look for work, work on the game, and work on poetry. The poetry is up to speed so that’s just for fun now. The job search and game design is mandatory. Not like at all costs, at risk of death, but like it would be good to get it done.
At least there is a trifle of unemployment insurance. It’s not much but it covers basic purchases. It would not cover the bills if I lived on my own. So I don’t really get how it’s designed. Seems not that well.
Stomach ache from the coffee, all set. I should check if it’s just a morning thing at some point, not a coffee thing. Hmm.
What am i supposed to do with my life. The business world spins on by and here I am, profit-less, unhappy.
I think if i can find sources of joy I’ll be better off.