I dont’ know what to do. I don’t feel like going to bed. But I’m not as antsy as normal. My psychiatrist might reduce my risperdal if the side effects add up. The restlessness, the loss of focus. And we’ll have three weeks after that actually controlled to see if it works. If it improves […]

Mom’s safely asleep. Comfortably, too, presumably. I have a friend, Nick, and two brothers. Father is an enemy but he’s still alive. I have a home, I will soon have a job, and I have comfortable levels of money. I have so many assets. It’s silly. I don’t know. I just want more. I don’t […]

Craving entertainment. My neurotransmitters are normalizing with the Depakote increased from two weeks ago, and the kratom tapering downward. Mom’s asleep so I have no one to talk to.

I was trying to resist writing for some reason. I guess I just didn’t want to spam. I’m watching Critical Roll. I won’t explain what it is. Currently with a TTRPG/Wizards high. 11 teaspoons today. Can’t have any more. Bought some monster miniatures for the game with mom and Alex. Reading up on the campaign […]

Ideally I would do one post daily, not this as-is stuff I currently do, not to throw the readers off and to make it all more manageable. I think I’m getting there. Life seems to be stabilizing. I have been getting this sense of dread lately, like I am going to die or something. Or […]

I’m getting over my irrepressible urge to spam the feed. To blog incessantly. I feel I am stabilizing. The Depakote, for whatever reason, is working wonders. I’m decreasing the dose of kratom. So much success. I got a “tentative offer” on the table about a job. I already mentioned this. I don’t know what that […]