Okay the clonazepam is starting to kick in so I’m feeling better. It’s not at peak yet so I will be chill just in time for bed. I’m taking a sleep aid to fall asleep tonight, to make sure I fall asleep.
Kind of irritable/cranky. I haven’t had a particularly good day. Not much happened. I need to engage with my hobbies more. The power supply for the server should be here soon. I hope that’s enough. Then I have to figure out if I’m wiring the motherboard correctly. It was for a while, somehow I figured it out on my own.
Typing is uncomfortable for me. I have to correct a lot of spelling mistakes. It’s annoying. I wish there was a better interface. I’m not a fan of the brain-computer neural interfaces that will be coming out, though.
All technical challenges, to surmount them, takes some can-do and some time. I like that! It’s pretty neat that people/humans are so crafty.
Waiting until mom goes to work so I can say goodnight to her. She won’t be in bitch mode when she wakes up, she’ll be more… professional? I don’t know, I just know she’ll be cool. I took the clonazepam so it’s better.
I’m getting like my field of view is rotating and I’m blacking out a little. Just a tad. Too many meds! All the stomach medication with the psych meds with the kratom is just too much for my body to handle. Something has got to go. Maybe I can take it easy on the stomach meds until I remove the kratom. It’s hard living with perpetual stomach pain, though, as anyone with it will attest.
No one really interesting on Twitch right now.
I need a hobby. I’m such a loser. Social social social media! Turn that into a song.
Eh the literary magazine is nice. I don’t know what to do from here. I guess the next step is printing hard copies to advertise. We never really agreed whether we were going to or not.
I’m either going to sleep terribly, in a state of fear, or really well, from passing the fuck out. I hope it’s the latter.
What is hope, though? And what is its purpose?
I’ve gotten really good about my its-es and it’s-es. I don’t mix them up anymore, even usually on the first try.
I hope I don’t have to go to a hospital tonight. Mom can’t call family emergency anymore, she’s in the negative with PTO (paid time off) so anything else comes out of her paycheck. =/
Nuisance. Hospital work is terrible.
Now I’m getting shivers. Hold on let me put on a sweater. Brb.
Okay I’m not sure if that’s better or not. I must not be cold but shivering from the kratom. Kratom kratom kratom all you ever hear about from me. Because it’s a really big problem! But the sweater is cozy. I don’t want to have panic attacks anymore… I’m just starting to recover, why now…
Something else I forgot. Oh yeah, the kratom probably wrecks my body in other ways besides just neurologically. Probably like, endocrine problems, the digestive stuff as we’ve seen, other things. Supposedly it’s light on the liver, but at these doses who knows.
Alright I guess that’s it for now. Be back in two minutes. (Joking… but not really.)
[Oh wow it’s already 9:50! Mom wakes up in ten minutes! Yay!]