I don’t really give a shit about getting a job right now. I could survive ten years like this, with parents making the house payment, brother a backup, and I paying for my own expenses. I’ve calculated it. I have time. Don’t think I don’t. I’m not in a hurry, I just feel hurried, by the system. It looks bad to be unemployed for so long, but they don’t understand wanting to be free. I don’t understand them wanting to be slaves.

I could survive ten years like this. Maybe longer, if mom gets her pension from work for the rest of her life, I don’t spend as much. That’s a long time to look for work. A lot of opportunity. Maybe do some soul-searching in between.

Because as of now, “You will be okay no matter what” doesn’t quite cut it. That pseudo-Christian blind faith You’ll be okay gibberish doesn’t quite cut it. I need something really soothing. I need facts. I need laughter. I need health. I might not be able to get all of those, but I can try for as many as possible.

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