Fell asleep a few hours, thank God. I just cannot shut up when I am psychotic, can I? I have to tell my blog, all my doctors, family, etc etc and it’s annoying, for me too, when I wake up, to know I’ve woken everyone up and sounded the alarm bells needlessly, because what is […]
I’ll try to leave this window open and just jot for a while (jot jot..) instead of microposting (word). The thought got lost again. Sorry. … Mom’s Harry Potter next door is still stealing my attention and beating me up. It’s really painful. They’re all such bad actors and terrible human beings. It’s insane. Oh! […]
Now mom’s Harry Potter film next door is going to insult my psychotic mind through the fucking wall/coridoor. Jesus I get no rest.
I’ve definitely noticed this social bias, and it’s heking powerful. I’ve lived in California most of my life, for data. So, there’s freedom. And we all get that. But, it seems, very profoundly, that if you don’t actively indulge in it and go out of your way to like stimulate it and consume it and […]
I’m not sure what to do again. Starting to panic. The voices are still in my brain, controlling me in small but significant ways. They seem correlated with my family and support group. It’s hard to say, when everyone puts such a good face on, and then soils it psychically.
I had a mini-epiphany during my walk that I just came back from: I am more alone than I thought, and alone most of the time. This is really good news! I love autonomy/individuality/solitude. But the bad news is the episode is really bad right now. Maybe that’s what it takes, though. Sad. Unfortunate double-sided […]
Dad just assaulted mom again. What is assault? I don’t know the legal definition, actually, so I don’t know what to report.
Where does one throw their racism if not on their super-secret online private journal?
Wow. The 2/3 (and possibly 3/3) of the first hits on Bing for “what to do about an abusive family member” are immediately putting the blame and responsibility on the victim. Way to go, America. Good work, team. Fuck you. Slime.
Going through the paperwork for my new job. I get to choose my recommendations. So, I chose two from my last job who I did well under, and my undergraduate PI, who I did a good job under. Eh. It’s normal. I’m so scared about like, I won’t be able to function with just 50 […]