I don’t know what to do now. I don’t exactly have a set of things to read. I can’t read. I don’t have pretty pictures to look at. Engaging art to gaze into deeply and fondly. Sigh. What else was I going to say.

Hmm.

I need a periodic or constant reminder that there are other people / human beings out there, with similar human sentiments and sentience. Who care about things. I need to be reminded of that before I stab myself in the eye because I’m bored.

My attitude is picking up. Good for me.

What was I going to say, though? I’m glad I don’t have to use the block editor here. I think you have to with a paid account? But this is a paid account. Confusing. I hope they revert it. Their editor is terrible. Someone was complaining about social media companies serving their own best interests and not looking out for their users. I think that’s 99% true. They have to, sort of, keep the users happy, at least a little, at least in a really superficial way, or at least get them addicted, to fuel their customer base and make money of ADS. Ads. Lol. What a scourge on the Earth. Worst invention. There aren’t even any good ones anymore. They’re never creative. I didn’t mean to say any of this, by the …

[afk]

Ok back. I just puked up kratom for the third time today. Healthy for me, though puking is always rough. Purging myself of that devil poison is well worth it. It does damage to my esophagus but it can regenerate. It’s just irritating. I got the sudden urge to puke, it mostly came out of nowhere, rather intensely. I went downstairs to the bathroom downstairs, not next to my room across the hall from brother and mother’s rooms, so as not to wake them up. Brother gets insanely aggravated if you wake him up in the middle of the night. Mother gets in bitch mode. I feel so much better now. And less neurotoxin for my brain, too, now. So good.

Ahhh detox. Cleansing. I think I had a lot of juice today so that is helping a lot. And something about my diet feels better, too.

I don’t know.

That’s all you have to say is You don’t know? What is wrong with you? You puked THREE TIMES in ONE DAY!? You’re MAD!

Yeah I guess so. I roll that way, as the shitheads say.

Fucking egomaniac bros. Acting all cool. Loathsome behavior.

From one topic to the next.

Well what do I do, have some more?

I just want to be rid of the cravings / the addiction.

Okay so I’m not hearing mother or brother wake up, thank God. Phew.

More later. Blogging, not vomit.

Oh yeah, what I was going to say:

You can’t really just Google for things, because A, where do you get the ideas for what to Google. What’s the kernel/seed for curiosity. And B, Google just doesn’t give very good or intriguing results for topics. It’s usually superficial and you have to do a lot of tedious digging.

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