I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel like working, which can’t be building up good habits for my job next week. It’ll only have been two weeks since I heard once I start, though, so hopefully not enough time to get super-lazy.

Super-lazy. The best skill.

No one to talk to…

No one responds to my emails…

No older people in my life. No mentors. No peers. No one. Even my brothers don’t talk to me. I’m so on my own. So craving for companionship I hang out with mom nonstop. Sigh. I don’t know what to do. I’m out of kratom and the resupply hasn’t arrived yet, so I might be quitting early. It’s not too bad right now, I haven’t had any for the last hour and it’s just mildly annoying. It gets better after a few days. I wonder if I’ll have to go the whole day tomorrow without any. I hope the unspeakable doesn’t happen and I don’t get any booze. I can’t, on my meds. That would thrash my liver. I’d talk to mom about help if it came to that, the cravings kicked in n everythin.

I guess that’s it.