I’m scared that I won’t go anywhere in my personal life, in feeling good, unless I sacrifice and hard work in return. Which is of course, a terrible deal. What has my hard work up until this point been for? I’ve been practicing and improving, for what? I don’t I’m not good at anything. I don’t have anything I’ve been doing my whole life that I can just do whatever for fun. Tennis, but how much? An hour a week? That’s not enough.
Mom took my kratom because she heard me throwing up. She’s a stupid bitch. She has no logic. There’s more, another thing just happened just now that proves she’s a dumb bitch, but I’ll just leave it at that without explanation. You’ll have to trust me that she’s a dumb bitch. If she read this she would explode like the dumb bitch she is. Or “feel bad” and make me guilty. You can never win with her. Which is why all her coworkers hate her. Because she fucking sucks.
So I guess I just have nothing to do but neurotically check my socials over and over again for the rest of the night..
Fuck. I hate my life.
I already sent a message to my therapist but I probably will send another one, or else one to my psychiatrist.