I’ve done this before, but I am obliged to do it again. My obligatory post to stall the next dose of kratom before ingesting.

My red bali arrived. It should be mellower all-around and less addicting than green maeng-da that I was using. It’s also very smooth so hopefully less hard on the stomach. I’ve had 2-3 teaspoons of it so far. I’m glad it arrived. I think I will be switching permanently.

My ADD/anhedonia makes it hard to enjoy computer games unless they’re really immersive and rich in narrative. Merchant of the Skies was my next target, but it got uninteresting within 7 minutes. Sigh. I’m hopeless.

I’ll be talking with my psychiatrist on March 11 I think, so about a week and a half after I start work, about my ADD and anhedonia. He’ll of course put all the blame on my kratom abuse, and there will be nothing I can do about it. He’ll just not understand, and nothing will be done about it. It’s a stupid situation. I am attending Positive Changes group therapy at Kaiser videoconference. I don’t know. I’ve been to one so far. I am counting with a hand counter and recording in a journal planner. Also any relevant notes.

I don’t ever have anything interesting to say because there’s no interesting input or stimulus in my life. The mouse with the boring cage gets depression. I am trying to meet new people on twitter but I have no idea how to. Sigh. Am I stupid? The ex-coworker didn’t respond to requests to chat. What a piece of shit. I hate people who ignore me. So annoying. He’s a garbage hispanic dude. Can’t be good quality. Lots of hispanics are like, into low class stuff, junk art and media.

Mom’s going to the bathroom. i’ll ambush her after she’s out.

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