What has come over me. Is it pragmatism? Laziness is not very pragmatic. I can’t just write from the heart anymore. I have no more art left in me. Back to microposting, I guess.
I got to see mom before she went to work, so I am feeling better. I attribute it that way. It couldn’t just be luck of the draw, that’s the main thing that happened. Repetition will not change anything. I’m worried I will break 30 cups tonight. =/ I am just realizing that I have […]
It’s not really loneliness, not really isolation, not really stir craziness. Somewhere in between those three. I’m going crazy alone like this, that’s for sure. Jumping out of my skin looking for something fun. My therapist thinks I’m depressed. I’m not depressed. It’s just anhedonia, a symptom of depression but not depression. I don’t know […]
There’s no point in continuing to consume the kratom. It doesn’t do anything. It barely keeps me afloat. The Depakote can do that now. It can take over the job. So I just have to sit tight and wait for the agonizing seconds, minutes, and hours to pass. Days will have to pass before I’m […]
Now that I have me, myself, and I I didn’t take my supplements this morning Ugh Poetry Why What else… Well, I want engaging conversations and interactions from my friend, but I have to admit we’ve grown distant. I have to admit that to myself, really. Also I need to get back into blogging for […]
I don’t know why I got out of bed. I guess it felt like a waste to sleep all day, and plus I need to be sleepy enough for tonight to get in bed for the night. So like, I guess I had to. Hnhph.
I feel better now that I’m not forcing it here on WordPress and not following people I don’t like that I was supposed to like because they were “good people”. I also had a 2 hour nap so that probably factors in, but I’d rather be alone than surrounded by morons. Good person != interesting […]
Fuck my chunk of text was deleted. Anyway, lazy. Not working on game, not brushing my teeth, barely bathe ever, just now doing laundry which was overflowing from its basket. Social media all the time, I don’t do any exercise, nothing. I’m just a lazy bitch. Fuck. Why is my brain like this. Why is […]
I give up. I’m going to bed. I hate going to sleep a loser, a failure, not having done anything useful all day, but I have to bite the bullet and wake up so I can have breakfast. Time needs to speed up. This existential suffering is not acceptable. Fuck you all, fuck off, go […]
I’m going to have to throw in the towel here and accept that I’ll never meet anyone of substance on WordPress. I have to do this solely for myself. There’s no other reason to write here. No one reads my posts. No one comments. I’m never meeting anyone on here and that’s just how it’s […]