It’s official: I’m going through a depressive episode.
My therapist and CJ both diagnosed it that way. I don’t want to do anything and I am falling behind on exercise and hygiene, telltale signs.
It’s sad to me though, that I don’t want to do anything, because a part of me says there’s so much more to life. I still see the light. My mood isn’t that sour, the weather outside’s still beautiful, as recognized by myself. I just don’t see much of beauty anywhere else.
It’s not intensely moody depression, not psychological pain, not dark suicidal ideation. It’s just more, tired, gray, flat. Kind of mild. Still not good, but more like a flu than SARS.
So now I definitely definitely really need to go for walks, one a day, for sure I need to do that. Oh yeah, sleeping late. Sign of depression. Anyway it is essential that I continue my daily walks. They’re the only outdoors and exercise I get. Which is pathetic, but no no no not that mindset again, that only backfires, it’s great. Put on a small. Exercise is great. Your walks are great.
Sigh. Everything seems to meaningless. I don’t like it. I’m definitely stronger through fortification of my soul through all the suffering I’ve been through than before (mouthful), but it’s not perfect.
Mom is sleeping, recovering from work, brother is AT work (in his room), I START work Monday. No instructions on which building to report to. The front desk, I guess?
The starter kit for PrintingCenterUSA.com came. I need to go through that and see what we’re getting for our lit mag.
I think love is important. If you love people, and things, you’ll go through and fight the darkness for them. Failing doesn’t mean you don’t love them, remember, logically, inverses are not necessarily true, only contrapositives I believe (I can’t believe I forgot that basic fact). But I think you’ll agree, it’s at least worth trying if it’s out of love.
Stupid sour cliche bleh bleh bleh *spits out his words* lol =)
Anyway. How are you all, sweeties?