I tried 10 mg of propanolol tonight. It arrived in the mail today. I’m tired. Whoof. I’m supposed to start 10 mg twice daily, up it by 10 mg twice daily until 40 mg twice daily, or until it works, whichever is sooner. I decided to start in the evening with just one tab instead of the morning to have a more gradual introduction.

It’s been 30 minutes since I took it. Does it work? I’m feeling a little zoned in, a little cozier, and a little softer. So maybe, even at this small dose, it is doing something. I will be 400% higher, so if not now, then I don’t doubt it will work later. =)

Thank God for medicines. There are so many for anxiety! I’m surprised it took my psychiatrists this long to find one for me. So many untreated problems in me, and they’ve just gone on untreated. So neglectful, Kaiser. So neglectful.

Fuck I hate what I had to go through. It’s so unfair.

But I’m feeling better now.

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