I screwed off a lot today. I also got a lot done. I’m down to the last 45 minutes and trying to read a work document and my brain goes NOPE, not doin’ it. Sad. Wa-wah.
The fucking addiction doctor has some fucking brains. She’s giving me all this stuff for kratom withdrawal, including something to deal with the restlessness. Strictly speaking, I think it’s more from the risperidone side effects, but it could be kratom withdrawal, I don’t know. I just said I was tapering and restless. I did mention I was honest with her I said it may be a side effect akathisia of the risperdal. So she knew what she was doing. Mmph. Oh well. She’s giving me, required by law, a Narcan spray. That’s nice. Happy thoughts fill my head with that one. No one’s ever ODed from kratom is the word on the streets and in the internet documents, though. Which is why I’ve allowed myself to ingest so much. It just fucks me over in other ways.
Nothing to do, I anticipate, on the computer tonight. I switch to 2 pills of propranolol tonight. My blood pressure was a little high when I measured it today, but not abnormal. I also didn’t sit for a few minutes before measuring it, I don’t know, but mom says you have to before doing so. She’s not a doctor but she works at the hospital and is a 63 yo woman so she knows a lot. Elephant mere. *fat man laughs* </Amelie reference>
Anyway. I’m here blogging, but I have my work computer open also in case anyone needs to talk to me the last five minutes of work. I’ll sit by until 5:30 as planned just to say I tried, but after that I’m cutting out. that’s 8 hours. The morning started off I was unmotivated but it got better. The late afternoon was tired of reading documents.
My favorite superpower? Being able to read without reading fatigue. Yerhp.
My friend Nick doesn’t respond to my texts.
And brother was kind enough to buy some of my groceries for me: aioli (which apparently is a mayonnaise, not a mustard–oops but still yum) and white choco + macademia cookies. So good. I lust for both of those things. I’ll ask him to get aioli mustard next time, that’s what Trader Joe’s had for us before that I fell in love with. So good! Jesus. So goods.
Anyway. Life is pretty normal in these parts. California. I started using a VPN, so my IP address should not be traceable anymore. The best one on the market. Good reviews of it online, although the review websites all had the same page layout template, which was suspicious (same writer?). Anyway.
And the evening, as all evenings, is going to be tough for me. But I’ll survive. Shit around on the internet for like five hours. Bleh. Horrible use of time. What a waste of my life. It’s been this way for a while, too.
I like this company. In retrospect I am remembering so many bad things that we did wrong that I was involved in at my last company. Terrible work quality. Safety hazards. Just not good things.
Mom came in to check up on me. She made me a sammich! Awwww <3
Life is good. I’ll get my first paycheck in like a few weeks from now. And business will be had. I have missed making money for a long time. I need to notify EDD that I have a job now, but I don’t know how to. Hmm. =/. They don’t make contacting them easy at all. Fuckers. That’s always how the gov’t rolls. Hard to get a hold of. White buildings hidden away… somewhere…
I saw a Tumblr post about Welcome to Night Vale, and yeah, that radio show was amazing. Wow. I stopped listening b/c of their overly eccentric taste in music and my impatience, but yeah, poetic and stylish, artsy, loveable, awesome awesome awesome show. It had a following.
I see we’ve touched plenty of bases here. Do I sound healthier of mind lately? Hope you’re doing well, anonymous reader. Hope you’re doing well…