Collective Stupidity: The Non-Simplicity of “Filling Out a Form” for Work

So I’m supposed to be filling out–and let’s get into the nitty gritty of this for once, I want you to see how stupid this all is–a form for my manager. It’s a form. It’s a one page form with a few checkboxes, easy enough, saying I don’t want, among two other options, the Hepatitis vaccine because I already had it. I’m supposed to fill this form out and send it to the staffing firm representative, and then the Roche representative said they will be notified when I’ve done all that and my manager can fill out her few-checkbox form that I have done that and a few training requirements so that I am cleared for in-lab safety training tomorrow.

To fill out the form, I have to print it. We have two printers in the living room. One is also a scanner, but not with full-functionality (USB stick only because dad sort of took charge of it). Then I have to mark it, and scan it. I have to use a personal USB because obviously the company didn’t provide a corporate one just for this purpose, to upload the filled form back onto my personal laptop to send to the staffing agency representative. Then I have to take my personal USB, somehow pray it makes it past my corporate laptop’s antivirus (it should, but you never know). Then somehow my manager takes my word that I have sent the email to the staffing agency rep, or I guess I can CC my manager from outside the company on my personal email, or I can send the staffing agency from my work email, there are options, too many options. Then there’s safety training tomorrow. All this arouses in me a great deal of stress because it is a complex set of operations that they make sound super-easy because their lives are probably set up but mine by all accounts is not. So fuck.

So that’s what it means to “fill out a form”. I hope you’ve enjoyed the little foray into detail-oriented thinking (bonus points, capitalist bonus points for detail-oriented thinking) and the agony it instills in its victim, myself this time.

We’ll do more “This is beyond stupid and here’s why”s like this in the future. I like demonstrating the collective stupidity of my peers at work and in my personal life and how it all comes down on me.

Edit: I’ve probably done some of these in the wrong steps, and obviously omitted juicy details due to the complexity of the process. Satire on modern technology is begging, satire everywhere is begging. It’s ridiculous and I’m sure I could have made this yay longer, but due to the stress thinking about it instills in me I chose not to.

Edit:

To make matters worse, I tried printing from both my work laptop and my personal laptop to the only one of the two printers that accepts wireless signals downstairs, the small printer, and the work laptop detected the printer but didn’t give me the option to print to it afterward. The personal laptop printed, but did not physically print at the printer downstairs. Father, rush rush maniac stupido idiotsky that he is, turned it off and told me to bring it upstairs, which I wouldn’t have done on my own because there’s no fucking room. I fumbled around trying to fit the printer in my room unsuccessfully. Then I brought it downstairs. I tried relaying my frustration with this to my mother in the garden but she said some stupid shit and I just no words came out on my end. I accidentally let the paper in my room.

So I don’t know what to do. This is stupid and aggravating and I don’t want to deal with it anymore. I’m a fucking scientist and I have to deal with stupid shit like this because bureaucracy and my family are both two retarded things. It’s fucking inane. God damn it. Fuck.

Dad fucking disconnects, just like that, the only fucking WiFi printer in the house that was working. Fucking I am so angry at him. Why is he so stupid, so often.

Did you know we had about 5 printers in the house at once? I forgot how many were broken and in the garage, one or two, but the rest were in the living room for some reason, still are, and they DON’T WORK. STUPIDITY.

Dad is less of a dad and more of a landlord–there to ruin my life and time at home. Why he doesn’t get rid of all but one and make the last one work? I don’t know. He doesn’t say. He’s trying to make one of the backup ones work now instead of just letting the one that DID work work, the small one in the living room I had to lug to my room unsuccessfully.

This is so stupid.

I had to turn off my home laptop VPN to print. It printed. Unfortunately I sent the training manager an email stating things like, well my home office is a mess but I’ll get it in by the end of the day, and asking for clarification about who needs to know what instead of just re-reading his email. Now I’m embarrassed and don’t want to read his reply.

This whole ordeal is torture.

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