So, I guess, I had my mini-panic attack this morning, just a few minutes ago. I may have to go into lab finally this week. So sudden! I wish they could give me a head notice.

I’m panicking, I think. I’m not sure. We haven’t really discussed this with my therapist. So I can’t be sure what I’m supposed to feel like during a “panic attack”. I think they can be of varying intensity and yet some are like, you feel horrified / like you’re dying. It can be really really bad, where time crawls and you’re just trying to survive from one fraction of a second to the next. I’ve had a very bad one, which I am not happy to say. I am so sorry for past me, living through that hell. =(

Signed up for some optional genomics (not so much bioinformatics as titled) training, library prep and sequencing and stuff. While waiting for my senior to set me up with in-lab tour/training. Then there will be specific to OUR lab training on the instrument and stuff.

Sinstrument is a funny misspelling of a word. Hehe.

I feel alright. I don’t like the mini-panic attacks and I’m tired so I don’t want to go into lab. But obviously I will if I have to. It shouldn’t be anything too strenuous at start.

I don’t know whether to cancel my apt with the addiction doctor tomorrow. I need to send her a message that I am not going on suboxone.

Bleh. Life is always a drag. Don’t you think? =P

And, of course, today is day 2 on 3.5 mg of risperidone instead of 4 mg. Should see some results by the time my next psychiatry apt rolls around in four weeks.


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