As soon as I’m done with work, I feel like talking to Nick. or someone, anyone really. And there’s no one to talk to, and Nick’s busy. And I don’t know, he probably thinks I’m so negative and not even that good a friend.

What if I didn’t have him? What if I didn’t have anyone? What would I do then? Would I feel free? Or alone?

It’s hard to say and I don’t want to wager anything. But I had a goodish day at work, and things happened. So far so good.

Now I just have to survive the evening, as usual.

I’ve started using clonidine regularly. Just today, just today. If it makes me dizzy I’ll stop. If it doesn’t work I may be discouraged. But if it helps me relax, I may keep it up. My psychiatrist seemed to approve of it.

Oh shit, I forgot. I have gorup therapy drug rehab in nine minutes!

I’ll chat with mom until then.

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