Because I Know You Like My Brand of Crazy

I want to be the kind of person that can’t be separated from books and is always buried within one. Not for the status symbol, but because it’s rewarding. But my mom says my neurotransmitters are fucked so my reward center doesn’t work. She thinks it’s because of the risperidone, doctor thinks it’s because of the kratom. I’ll try the suboxone.

Am I lonely? Again? Can I say? I know not. Things happen, and sometimes… they happen for a reason.

It can be hard to predict the future.

I no longer need to milk my few words, for I am inspired. Creativity is contagious, as someone once said.

I don’t use the Kaiser Calm app on my phone because meditation is bullshit. It’s legitimate, scientifically founded bullshit, but it’s bullshit. Meaning: Not for me.

Whatever that entails.

Tails the fox. Or whatever he was.

So many gender stereotypes. I miss video games. Awwwww.

Well aren’t I a bad person. If only my English even made sense.

I just want to DO SOMETHING FUCK FUCK FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Holy hell.

Got to call it sooner or later. But I think I’ll be writing more artfully from now on. More diversity to it. So to speak, it is easier to speak my mind, now that it is being nourished. Like a doll. Or an indoor office plant. Or a cross hybrid of both. From Japan. Lol x Kawaii-san.

Wtfashiwa.

Anatasagasuka mama baba are you there?

I don’t really know much.

But it’s better. Than. … I don’t know.

Well isn’t my life coming along swimmingly.

I wonder if I should write a book. HOLY SHIT GUYS someone once said I should! That is so encouraging! =D. I appreciated that person so much. This was years ago and I lost them, in the psychotic storm. But I wish, do I wish, I could find them.

They/them.

Their others aye mate it makes sense.

Oh well.

Ugh I’m tired. I have to push so much. WHY do I have to push so much? Nazis? Gangsters? FUCK I’m TIRED of PUSHING!! It’s ILLEGAL!

God. I have a feeling I’m hilarious but really, I’m exhausted and I don’t like pushing. No need to put a gun to anyone’s head! Just sayin’. Though I never would’ve said “just sayin'” several years ago. I’ve grown to accept the slurs and slang of young kid or internet culture. Oh boye.

Well. I don’t know. I hope. I’m around. Don’t worry. More later.

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