Today

Today is a fuck up so far. A bunch of juggling this and that, not busy-ness, but stupidity and systemic annoyance.

No tasks assigned for today = nice, but also doesn’t keep me busy and I get antsy anhedonia.

Sick for the nth day in a row (sore throat) = had to stay home (company-wide Covid concerns, policy), annoying

But no tasks, remember? So no reason to come in anyway (company-wide Covid policy–if no tasks, don’t come in b/c of Covid.)

Asked boss if he wants me to do anything. In text, he said just rest and drink fluids.

Does that mean they’re paying me for today? I emailed him my staffing firm’s sick policy. I don’t even have sick time yet b/c I’m new. It’s a little regressive. But even if I did, I wouldn’t have much. It’s a little regressive.

So I’m nervous. I guess the stress digs deeper under my skin than it used to. Sometimes it reaches my muscles and makes me move without my approval. It’s mind control and I don’t like it.

Fuck!, as always… fuck. Just fuck.

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