Seems my friend Nick is perpetually on road trips, day trips, camping, things with his housemates, that sort of stuff. I feel bad for texting him so often but I’m just a gregarious fellow.

Love has been on my mind lately. Lots of dreams about it, for one. Should I restart my OKCupid profile or something? I don’t know. It always makes me feel inferior. Also paranoid.

I don’t have much to say on the topic other than I’d like to date someone, if even over the internet. That would be enough for me, to be honest, because I can communicate in writing very well, and video chats are a thing. Hmm. Seeing them would make me so nervous. I wonder what the quarantine generation will there be like a gap in relationship development? The whole thing poses lots of interesting sociological questions.

Yeah, not much to say, I just have been thinking more about what I’d want in someone lately. And what I’m supposed to be for the other person.


I wonder, if I could ever slip into a bisexual-bixesexual relationship. Not that gender is that important, but eh, kind of a turnon?

Oh wow I mispelled that kind of funny. Heh.

I have an idea of someone I’d like, but when I think for words to describe them, all I can say is like, “Awesome, not necessarily hip, but very cool-headed, could be varying degrees of happy/gregarious, seriousness factor? Or is that a variable too? What kind of sense of humor? I don’t know” I don’t know.

I have about 80 pages in Issue 80 of Agni left still. I said yet first and then changed the typo. i think it was better yet originally. I am also trying to edit my book of poetry for publishing with barnes and noble or amazon. Mom wants me to go bnn but I think amazon book reader ebook reader is more widespread. But the market in bnn is obv more literary. But I wouldn’t want to pay for print. Mmmmmmmm. Or… do they only charge you when you sell? I should look closer at the contract.

I must’ve had like three naps today. some people can’t be hurt by strangers. I can.

It’s 11:19. I’m drinking kratom and not feeling guility about it b/c I had like 3 naps today, which totally completely refreshes my brain neurochemistry.

Maybe a scientist? What about a female engineer? That would be so cool. Someone balanced, is all I can say. An engineer with an artistic side. Plays a musical instrument or something.

Sigh. So alone. I don’t want to die alone. I feel like my life will have been a waste then. =(

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