It’s baby brother’s birthday today. I am starting to have a mild stomach ache I don’t know why. The sick kind, not anything else. I didn’t put anything in my mouth from dirt, but I guess I didn’t wash my hands before making smoothies either. Ugh. That’s not good.

I think reading is the only thing that makes me happy, but I don’t know. My stamina still isn’t that great and I like to milk every last drop of value from the paltry reading I do, but then I just end up on Twitter like looking at art photography or seeker science videos.

Father is furnishing his office today, I think.

I’m very greasy. My scalp is a mess. I haven’t showered in a while. I desperately need to.

I stayed up late yesterday reading a bunch of poetry I bought on the spot from contemporary authors. I don’t like when things aren’t organized. I think things aren’t organized. I can’t really be sure. My life doesn’t feel organized. I don’t like it.

It’s such hard work, the maintenance, doing things all the time. I don’t get it.

So yeah, I was awake till like 4 AM yesternight and then slept only under the thing irish cover blanket, not my actual blanket, which is not large enough for my whole body. With the lights on. So, not very deep sleep. As of now feeling a bit out of it.

Would like to talk to mother to sort things out, see what my responsibilities for the day are, but she’s showering father in attention, he’s a mess of disorganization, in the living room, looking for things or setting out soon to pick up furnishings or something. I don’t know exactly.

So I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing right now, and that’s always a bad feeling for me. I need to know my place, however small.

I can’t have any kratom k tea right now because of my stomach ache.

I should be exercising in the morning. Jogging.

The greasy scalp is annoying.

Smoothies.

I don’t knkow.

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