I fear the day that writing about my thoughts will no longer be an adequate vent of my problems. I fear that day.

But for now…

Baby brother has some sort of depression or anxiety but mostly nonfunctional dissuasion from doing anything and feels like he can’t do anything in life. He lives of middle brother, who pays for his apartment, and doesn’t pay him back. He feels very guilty. I think he feels guilty.

Middle brother keeps bitching about it to mom, that he has to fund baby brother even though he loves him it’s a hassle, and that he has no life of his own.

Middle brother told mom who recounted to me, that, he (middle brother) had no 20s, couldn’t enjoy one of the most vibrant decades of his youth, because of my mental illness and baby brother’s depression/despondency and having to take care of us all.

I’ve decided to stay clear more or less of it. I think middle brother is being too whiney and a bit selfish.

The whole thing gets me very emotional. Family problems. I feel for my brothers. Mother. Father.

I don’t know if this post accomplished what I set out to do. I’m just explaining the situation with baby brother and middle brother. Middle brother is in business so he can afford it all, though just barely. I’m a scientist; not as lucrative but I just got my job recently.

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