A paycheck is nice though.

I don’t know. I don’t like biology. A lot. It’s such a struggle. Maybe I’m just not suited for work. Maybe I have to mooch off my family. Or, move to some nowhere state in the U.S. and live with my mom doing nothing the rest of my life off her pension. She’s retiring next year, holy hell thank goodness. Her life has been miserable. I am so sorry for her.

I’m starting to get psychotic symptoms. “Seeing” things that aren’t there (it’s not like true vision, it’s neural, like if you know there are multiple layers to the brain’s vision center, it’s not at the front, it’s somewhere in between). It’s somewhere in between reality and imagination. But it’s threatening. It can control me, sometimes. In minuscule ways. No one can tell. But I feel it. I’m scared.

But isn’t that all good and well? Kawaii sugoi. Jesus fackin’ chris’.

Sigh -_-

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