I have a few options left. My family is still abusing me. Which is funny because half an hour ago I could’ve sworn they were looking out for me. But this is the norm at this address. So like, yeah, long term goal is to move out and live on my own. It’s not financially efficient, but it’s also their fault. So that’s nice.
Oh I get it they’re the ones paying so it’s the same to them. So I might as well leave it will improve their lives.
Except I had to figure this out on my own they didn’t say anything so I don’t know it for sure.
No conclusion. Except, abusive father psychic and very powerful very abusive still angry.
What was I going to say.
I also can’t even write here anymore, they get in the way so much.
They haven’t officially told me to move yet. So like I don’t see why I need to? But I do need to. Actually they’ve on multiple occasions told me not to. Father has said it’s okay for me to live on my own, but mother wants me living with her for at least some time to come to prove that I’m alright.
So what does that mean (oh nice how they corralled me and coerced me into a topic for this blog post, hmm, and now holding the gun to my head to make sure I finish it). What was I going to say…
Something about moving. Something about family.
Still miserable. No escape. Writing feels like it might help. Waking up mom feels like it might help. Entitled pricks showing their sides so like, no help there. Human species a royal failure. No help from anyone or anywhere.
Repeat: Writing feels like it might help, waking up mom feels like it might help.
Mom would probably bitch at me to go to sleep. I wouldn’t because I have insomnia from OPIOID WITHDRAWAL (though I AM on suboxone, so what the fuck? MEDICINE FAILLLLOLLLLLL) but she would still bitch at me because she is old and narrow-minded and mostly just a bitch half the time for no explainable reason (like most fucking useless women (i.e. all women)).
Writing doesn’t seem to be helping yet.
I don’t know what to do. Do I give up? HOW do I “give up”? What IS “giving up”? I don’t even understand these concepts.
In other news…
Oh what the heck. Let’s give up.
Yeah but I don’t know how.
Baby brother seems to be haunting me now. He’s a useless failure, too. a SENSITIVE useless failure hwo is republican TRASH. Nice to meet you, sir. I wish you were dead instead of merely out of town. Better off. Good luck to you with that.
No but that would be terrible, in all honesty. I don’t want baby brother dead, in case he’s really spying on me or something (Which he isn’t it’s been demonstrably proven that I’m paranoid).
So what next?
Yeah I don’t know.
Oh more spirit visitors.
No peace for me!