I definitely don’t feel guilty for most of the things I say. Because they are said in my personal space. Well in any case no one actually gets hurt from words, unless it instructs harm to be done to targets, like orders to fire and stuff.

The long chain.

I am angry very often though. Which doesn’t feel good.

I wonder how not to be.

Listening to the FLCL soundtrack. So good. Listened to the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack just before. Those are the two best animes in existence. You don’t even have to watch all animes because all animes in general are shit (bad voice acting, terrible scene composition, inane plot and dialogue). Basically they bash the viewer over the head like they’re a retard which they are not. Anime is just stupid, more or less. And anyone who likes it is… just ungodly patient. Wow. Hats off.

Reading Postmodern American Poetry. Updated my Amazon book description. It won’t show until 48h hours.

I just want to drink coffee all the time. I’ve had like three or four frappuccinos today. I don’t know why they say you can have too much coffee. The doctors are draconian. They even recommend things without knowing scientifically if its true or not. I don’t get it.

I’ve been using suboxone to treat my kratom cravings. I still habitually reach for the beverage for my entertainment during down times, when I’m not doing anything (Which is most of the time I guess? is it?), but I guess the suboxone works. yeah.

I hate racism. But also don’t be a bitch about it. Don’t pout all the time like black people have no hope. There’s hope. Come on. Also too much negativity is just annoying.

But yeah I hate those bitchass punkfuck white bitches in the movies or TV who treat black people like my dad treats my mom. Fuckers. I hate narcissists. And racists.

Although I’ve been accused of being a racist for hating on like, Indians I think it was? And possibly a few other races? They were just observations. Like asian americans act shallow a lot. I still hold to that. Althought I guess you can seem shallow and still be deep. But yeah probably not. There’s artistic depth to things or there isn’t. I mean I read, what’s it called, that south korean bitch’s avant garde thing, she was murdered in new york when she was young, and it was publsihed, Dictee, and it was artistic but still she seemed like a superficial person. Her book is overhyped. I could write something like that. My book of poetry is abstract, more so than her book. But I won’t receive any accolades because it’s TOO abstract and TOO deep. You actually HAVE to be a degree of superficial to receive praise in modern society because most people are superficial. Logic. 8-)

My brother likes nature photography but he’s bad at composing it. No aesthetic. But I’m not gonna like yell at him for it. I’ts annoying suppressing my beliefs and opinions though. I should jus tgently tell him to improve. Or consider working on it. And demonstrate and describe what I mean. Because I can. I can describe what I mean. It’s not bullshit. If you can’t describe what you mean, likely it’s bullshit.

The FLCL ost is amazing. The anime is amazing, too. Such a work of art. I miss seeing it for the first time. But the memories remain. Such melancholia. Such emo pain. It hurts! Oh oh!



Well in any case. I don’t have anything to do so I’m just writing here. Not currently psychotic, thank god. I’ll keep taking my suboxone as I need to and I’ll ask mom to leave me like four for the night time in case I get insomnia so I don’t go crazy.

I need to do my French language exercises still.

Didn’t study any data science today but read some poetry, which is, of course, useless but entertainng.

The Pillows are off the hook.

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