I finished my introductory JMP series for work. I guess I could always train on more? It’s stupid that I am employed with nothing to do. I’m going to be like lazy and not good at working hard when the time comes to do so, because of them. Management has fucked me over.

Ugh. This paranoia is gross. I feel terrible.

I wish there was more or less anything that cheered me up. I’m so scared about the future. Maybe science is not the appropriate job type for me. I don’t like being nervous. Is it commonly accepted that you will be some degree of nervous in your professional job? That doesn’t seem fair. Culture has got to shift.

And then there’s global warming. Which SOME people are panicking about. Which is annoying. These people who bitch about it still haven’t told me how I can help. So they’re retards, basically.

Afuck.

I feel like everyone is angrye aatte mee. For whatte? For pushing my boundaries? Exploring my limits? Testing myself? It’s not fair.

I don’t know. I’m imagining all of this, aren’t I. These, these, are delusions.

I have some doctor appointments coming up. I guess we’ll see what they say. Sigh…

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