I think blogging here is just a habit now.

Oh I was supposed to call the post office about a missing parcel.

Whoops. Monday it is, then.

What I mean is,

I hanged out with mom and tried to relax a bit (despite my chest pounding in agony and panic). She recommended (implying permission granted to…) I get half a tab of clonazepam, which I did, 3 minutes ago. That should help me relax, if it’s just panic. I’m also taking a half tab sublingual suboxone, to fight the withdrawal if there is any left.

And what else…

Yeah, just, life’s tough but I thought it through in the living room. Mom cooked, I ate a little, I should help her around the house with chores more. I guess I”m too big a thinker often, but in a useless way. Either more practical, or more daily life, one or the other, or both, would be more pleasant out of me. What can I say. I don’t know.

I think I had a follower who I deleted and now they can’t remember my blog’s name. Oops. They liked me. My bad. I hope I didn’t ruin their life. The internet can be like that. That’s sort of like, bad things happen to other people and they fuck YOU over. It sucks. Life sucks sometimes.

I need to do something about all these recruiters. Hmm. I don’t know, do I respond to each of them individually and say I’m no longer looking for a job? Which board do they get this information from? How do I cancel it? ONE board was polite and smart enough to ask me 6 months after I signed up if I wanted to be removed (a few days ago, which yes, I did). So yeah, I guess the point is, your innovations CAN and DO help other people out. Don’t lose hope just because you don’t receive feedback. And on the flipside, feedback DOES get to the owner. So yeah, communication is a two way street, in society, on the internet, elsewhere. Have faith.

I’m gonna go downstairs a bit more, and pace around the house. My favorite hobby. My whole medical problems have me so anxious. Sigh…

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