Everything revolves around me. Not it doesn’t. If I’m some slick fuck that acts like he always has everything planned out, obvi that be not truskeezyo.
I slept plenty last night (went to bed at 4 AM, but woke up at 3 PM), which makes/made me feel kind of bad that I was wasting the day. I’m just now getting started. It’s 6:30. I took a nap, too, after I woke up, feeling like I was more useful in my dreams than in reality. Which is not true because in reality I have to finish this programming assignment for work, but I want a day off. I feel so bad for not finishing yet.
Sigh. Everything’s always such a fucking mess. Such a problem.
In my dreams, I was with my parents, they were visiting, I lived alone, for a meal dinner or something, and there was some event, and I forgot my morning dose of meds and then I was dizzy latter that day because of it and I was like “Oh shit!” because I didn’t know in the dream that it was a dream. We drove around a bit and I wanted to be in mom’s car, but for convenience I went in dad’s and he doesn’t drive safely which put me at risk and made me feel unsafe and scared. I don’t like him because of it. One of his arrogant qualities, even IRL. They probably took separate cars because they were divorced by then? Just guessing at the hints. No footage of dinner itself.
I need to relax. A lot. There’s not always going to be the perfect entertainment thing in front of my face. That’s just how it is. I need to enjoy life for what it is. I have to get real.