Lucidity. That is something I often do not have. The average man will question me and ask, why am I doing it my way? Am I mad? And act like it is a problem. I guess it is human nature to react more strongly than the repercussions, to build a buffer when next it comes, that the issue has a really true punishment. For now, it’s child’s play and I’ll just get scolded.

Isn’t that how it is. Didn’t I learn that with mammie?

I never had grandparents except up til about 5.

Sigh.

Well anyway. I guess I’m just weird and think about things a different way. I’m glad there are still the solid thinkers out there. I won’t call them the “normal” cuz that’s kind of offensive. Everyone wants to be special… except those who have had enough.

The real question is: Why do I go on so long, and why do I give my own guilty conscience so much fodder to toy with? To ravage myself with from the inside out?

Maybe I go read some tech news. Quanta or something like that.

Best to get involved in the real world.

I’M SUPPOSED TO BE CODING.

I always lose sight of the real task at hand. The real world. My reality is not real reality. I kinda like it that way! Back to work…

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