I have nothing to do but write meaningless gibberrish about the pointlessness of my life in this journal right now.
So many people are so scared of me for no reason. Put anothe rway, they hide. Like, they’re cowards. There’s a lot ofw ays to say it.
I dn’t even want to spell things correctly. No nr eads what I say. No one is worth my time
Being alone was supposed to be fun.
The nice part. The bad. part. The bad part. Youre never alone. Someone is ALWAYS going to exploit you. Capitalism, family, friends, work. Never malone. Always exploited.
I haven’t seen myself in a while. I wonder if my doctors will excuse me from work today. I dont’ know if it’s safe for me to work ina lab today. I do unsafe things when I’m wreckless hwen I”m… I don’t know myself well enough right now to know for sure.
Eh. Life is terrible. You get used to it but then the surprise factor is gone. It sucks all around. Bad things. Life is a bad idea. No noe said it wasnt, but calling it an idfea is kind of religious. My bad. Life is a bad construct.
IT shouldnt exist.
The romantic british physicists ar eall and yet it does. In that voice. So stupid.
I wish I could just have the luxury or studying math. I wish I were that privileged. Some black kids want basic schooling. I want highe r scholing. We all want something we can have because society is unjurt. It sjust how it works.
No one s there to fix your problmes either.
Ugh. I dont know. I have to wati for mom to come home. Maybe i make more coffee. I need something to do. I’m going to go crazy without a hobby.