I feel terrible. This stream of consciousness was one of the most agonizing of my life.
I had my caffeine (espresso) night cap just now. Mother was asleep or trying to be asleep so she didn’t yell at me. Doctors say not to do this. The night cap. Regardless of what it is. Especially not booze I guess though. Then I changed into PJs which seems like colonialism and a waste of the environment. But maybe no one actually gets hurt, I don’t know. But it helped. So now I’m closer to sleeping, but still far.
Dreaming of tennis.