I have to come to terms with death. Even if it brings my family grief. There is just no other option. I can’t live like this, in fear, sad, moved, twisted. It doesn’t make sense.

Why do I have to put up with things like this. I know many younger than me have to put up with far worse so I won’t complain, but still…

I screwed up at work today, at the very fucking end -_-. Fuck. A drawer jammed by a plate and my data got fucked. Wow. Awesome. -_-. So I have to redo tomorrow, but more importantly, my manager doesn’t trust me as much anymore. I guess it’s important he get this lesson in early while we can that I’m human.

It’s been 3 months and I’ll done is trained. That doesn’t look too good. =/. I don’t think they’re going to hire me perm. They just don’t need me. I really screwed up. Then I have to look for a job all over again, and the whole nightmare process again. Sigh…

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