LOSER

Oh yeah. My therapist doesn’t actually help me come up with life solutions. He just regurgitates DEEP BREATHING DEEP BREATHING like a fucking annoying tropical bird. Dumb shit.

I need to access the inner pages of my French idioms book to read the contents, French idioms, to learn French better. I took my lesson for the evening, online, learnwitholiver.com, but I need more to go faster cuz it says fluent in 5 years. My brain disease will be healed before then that’s that slow.

I have serotonin rushes. I get dance vibes. WTF send me to a not a hospital but a festival to dance on a lawn with some tunes and no embarrassing attitudes.

Batches on Twitch are only good for their boobs. Useless batches.

What else…

I am trying to be straightedge against my will. It’s really difficult.

The open blinds.

I need to read the book but the table of contents I have to read it in order because I have to be linear. But I can’t because I can’t read. So I cant’ just open it up and start reading what I need is what I mean. Because because for no reason. Because because.

I’m fucked because because for no reason. Because because.

Help me.

And other things I am forgetting. Always and forever.

They will fuck me in the pants, too. Sigh.

What a loser, they will say. What a loser he was, let’s chisel it on his grave.

Mom needs to go to sleep I can’t talk to her anymore she has to work tonight. She loves me so she can take care of me that’s not fair to love someone so much. I owe her so much it’s not fair.

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