I ought to go to bed and just call it a weekend. It’s so hard to get a fulfilling what you want out of the two days at the end of the week though. I wish there were some formula to it. Work hard I guess. That’s foolproof. I suck at that. I’m so lazy. I’m never going to be happy. I mean tennis was the highlight of my Sunday. Tennis with my brother. Damn. I love that sport. I’ve spent 20 years with it. It means so much to me. And to share it with my closest relative. It’s immense.

Working on issue 3 of the lit mag. I don’t know if they want to be associated with someone as loathsome as me. I am a lowlife. I am prejudiced and spread hate on the internet. Right? How could someone like me make a lit mag worth anything. With any love in it.

Sigh. No one understands. The boundaries. What you do. I mean what you say can count, but… what you do.

What you do….

Or am I a hypocrit?

Eh. The voices the voices the voices.

I don’t make much sense most of the time. Should get these paragraphs going longer. My thought process is shallow and vacuous! =P

Well. Who knows.

Lots of that though! Not sure what structure of language that is. Classifying English. Hmm. They probably teach that in school.

I’m so spoiled. Looking for entertainment. Hurry do it yourself before the bad people find you. Really. -_-

Seriously.

But in any case…

Um. Thank you? For reading.

Yes.

Because some of you do. Thank you.

We’re actually getting submissions for issue 3 which will be out end of july, though. Cool, right? It’s a learning process, which I’m always anxious about. I need such a self confidence boost in my life it’s not even funny. I’m in deep deep shit. No one understands how deep it goes. Or I guess they could. I need like an hour of tennis a day. For weeks. Before I’m back to normal.

That’s me.

There’s my real addiction.

Although it’s “healthy”. lololol yeah great…

Sigh. I don’t know. What’s a friend? Time to get philosophical! No don’t…

I finished vol 1 of No. 6. Shittiest manga ever.

Baby brother looked so bad today. I’m worried about him. =( But I still think in my brotherly knowing him like I know him, having watched over him as the oldest, and yes I do know him even if I wasn’t fucking there for him like you guys keep saying, jesus fucking christ whatever that means, I know what it means, ugh, okay so, just, I know him in a way. A distant way. And. He’ll be fine. He can handle this. We have to leave him alone.

But we can talk. The worst is over. He knows it.

He loathes stupidity. I think his anger is his greatest weakness at this point. =/

But eh. He’ll disagree with me. No argument there. Just a disagreement.

He’s reasonable.

But young…

Well. Let him be young. Why are we so imposing, eh?

Here I am playing family counselor. Jesus. I don’t want to do this.

Anyway. We all love each other. That’s what’s important.


What else…

That’s about it from what I can remember.

I got to get to bed but I’ll probably be awake a while longer. Therapy, group class tomorrow, and I still am under healthcare supervision. The meds seem to be working. For my crazy. Which is nice. Always worth explaining not to attract ire. I forgot how things work. Sigh.

Thanks. I appreciate you. Even if I swear all the time.

There’s such greatness in things. Really there is.

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