As Usual

No one is human. Everyone is a perfect robot police officer on the inside. I am so alone and surrounded by guns pointed at my head. I will never survive. I always do. I shouldn’t, it hurts so bad. It hurts so bad, I shouldn’t.

I am a firm believer of that.

I wish I had died.

My family would have been in pain. I don’t know how much. How does it work now?

This whole death thing is rather complicated, isn’t it. Pain and death. Are they related?

Eh. Science. Science is boring and unrewarding and unwelcome in the bro territory where the psychic police robots in human skin encourage me to rape the ladies bending over for me.

I don’t know why any of this is happening.

I can’t believe people can spy on my thoughts.

Marijuana is a dangerous drug because it gives people superpowers. I have so much brain damage.

I wish I could exercise.

It’s hard to play a sport because circumstance and society don’t actually want you to. America doesn’t want to be healthy. I do.

This is probably another reason the voices loathe me.

It’s awe inspiring, how lazy I am. And how potent the evil is.

I don’t want my brother to find me. I hope he stays independent. We have such an interesting relationship.

I miss him. No that’s a lie. Well whatever. We’re superficial now.

Ugh.

I had another coffee because I had to. Still no caffeine high. Does that exist?

It gives me a stomach ache on top of everything.

What if the meds never work?

What if I’m never happy, ever again?

I don’t want a spouse. I don’t want kids. I might even want to change countries. Lots of strings to reattach for that to happen, though. On a personal level.

Nick…

Sigh.

These twitch streamers are psychic evil. I wish the UN (United Nations) could just watch their streams and see how evil they are. Send some undercover agents. That would be easy enough. And like arrest those motherfuckers for the neuropathic twinges of needle torture they give to the mentally ill. Kicking a man when they’re down. I’m sure there’s some morality or spirit thereof in international law. Surely?

Life’s so fucked. I can’t believe I can rationalize all this.

But of course I can. I’m rational.

They aren’t. THEY get angry.

Or don’t have time for me.

Either or, I’m better than them.

And always will be.

And you are one of them.

So fuck off.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s