Ugh. The media is mocking me. I don’t know what to do because there’s no escape. I’ve been depressed in front of the TV right after fucking tennis before. I guess it’s possible to be fucking psychotic in front of the TV.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t find fault with like, certain things. But I do find fault with other things.
So why would…
I don’t understand.
I need to learn to read but psychology actually says no “I need to” phrases. So like wtf, how do I even have goals?
Life is so pointless. I have no hope. My relationship with my own lifestyle is going to put me at risk of suicide at some point. I guarantee it.
And I think there are people who love me? But I can’t even say that for sure.
Therapist is useless as usual. I bet he’s busy taking “notes” behind the scenes. Good fror hime.
And he’ll lead next convo. Or I will. And it will last however it lasts and it will wear off, and I WON’T do my breathing exercises like I was taught ” ” sort of taught barely taught learn to teach. Um. I don’t think breathing exercises help. Real exercises help.
Science is right though so I know I’m wrong.
Which makes it tough, knowing you’re a loser and still not manning up to the superior strat.
I want to live without breathing exercises, is what I am saying.
They’re so stupid.
Breathing is just stupid.
JUST BREATHE holy hell.
I mean unless you’re literally worried you might not be able to at one point
My panic doesn’t involve a shortness of breath though.
So anyway now the wiretapping comes into play.
Lif’es fucked and I haven’t had good times in so long.
I give up on this one, too.
Ugh authoritarianism… I missed the boat, excuse me.