Ugh. The media is mocking me. I don’t know what to do because there’s no escape. I’ve been depressed in front of the TV right after fucking tennis before. I guess it’s possible to be fucking psychotic in front of the TV.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t find fault with like, certain things. But I do find fault with other things.

So why would…

I don’t understand.

I need to learn to read but psychology actually says no “I need to” phrases. So like wtf, how do I even have goals?

Life is so pointless. I have no hope. My relationship with my own lifestyle is going to put me at risk of suicide at some point. I guarantee it.

And I think there are people who love me? But I can’t even say that for sure.

Sigh…

Therapist is useless as usual. I bet he’s busy taking “notes” behind the scenes. Good fror hime.

And he’ll lead next convo. Or I will. And it will last however it lasts and it will wear off, and I WON’T do my breathing exercises like I was taught ” ” sort of taught barely taught learn to teach. Um. I don’t think breathing exercises help. Real exercises help.

Get real?

Science is right though so I know I’m wrong.

Which makes it tough, knowing you’re a loser and still not manning up to the superior strat.

I want to live without breathing exercises, is what I am saying.

They’re so stupid.

Breathing is just stupid.

JUST BREATHE holy hell.

I mean unless you’re literally worried you might not be able to at one point

My panic doesn’t involve a shortness of breath though.

So anyway now the wiretapping comes into play.

Lif’es fucked and I haven’t had good times in so long.

I give up on this one, too.

Ugh authoritarianism… I missed the boat, excuse me.

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