Be Sure

Who knows. Maybe this morning/nighttime pill regimen for schizoaffective disorder is like, bad. Maybe it’s bad. But maybe it’s good. Maybe it works better this way. I don’t know. It’s hard to believe that a PRN wouldn’t absolutely fucking cure the shit out of SZN. But we avoid that literary issue of it being too perfect with the PRN not existing. I mean the daily morn/night avoids the perfection nazi issue. Health medical nazi issue. Avoided. This. Way.

So. Maybe I shouldn’t complain.

I haven’t thought about this enough because I’m scared of thinking about it. Which is the beginning of the end. But I’m fighting and I have to understand that fighting for my freedom of thought is part of the fight against schizoaffective disorder and that I should keep fighting, in every way shape and form. Be nice, yell, exercise, eat, love family, work hard, be selfish, be selfless, etc. etc. Do it all! You know?

If you’re fighting anything, I believe in you. Flat out blank check I do. That’s all.

Ugh. I need to figure out what to do with my evening.

I can’t cure your disease.

I can’t even cure mine.

But I can help cure someone else’s. Because that’s my fucking day job. I’m a scientist. Eat shit.

Economics, baby. Some people lubricate the wheels and gears.

Capitalism? Not that evil. Just, there’s better. That’s all.

We’re getting there. It’s a race to the top. The view is ephemeral and profound. I’m sure it’s worth it.

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