I need to keep reminding myself that no one visits

Now I find myself, hedonistic me, beyond fighting my undisclosed brain condition which seems to attract criminals from the demon world (third world countries with guns or something), on the quest for better entertainment.

I didn’t work very hard today. I’m not guilty about it but it is a problem. I really want this contract converted to perm. I don’t mind the labwork. I don’t like it but i don’t mind it. Once a week this assay or whatever is tolerable.

I’m a fish ow being smacked with a blunt object and drowning at the top of the bowl.

My nerve spikes hurt so much and my delusions are real.

I can convince you by yelling really loud.

But really, the doctors art trying really hard to fight for me. I guess it’s proof in money.

I don’t want to talk about family right now for my own reasons.


Tennis with brother last weekend went well enough. I was psychotic. =(

Two weekends ago I was not. =)

Need more of the good ones and fewer of the bad ones. Sigh….

Nick’s long gone. Still on my mind, though. I can’t believe I threatened him! He said I did anyway. I don’t remember doing so.

The cops are super corrupt in America. That’s what everyone says. But I wonder what the stats are. Eh. Not an interesting topic either way. Just a PRESSING one. Strange. Boring job. Statistics. Day job.

Probably some government thing. Baby brother ought to look into that. But I guess that’s what he DOESN’T want. I don’t really know cuz he prefers being super childish about everything.

These nerve spikes are going to murder me tonight. I need to take some ibuprofen brb.

Eh. Took 600 mg ibuprofen. Let’s keep it real. I am NEVER going back on opiates or opioids ever again. And yet this other class of painkillers seems to be okay. Fascinating, is it not?!

Medicine. The miracle of.

Well at least I like stuff.

That’s cool.

Some people are stupid and don’t.


I don’t know how to survive the fucking voices for the rest of the night though. Good luck.

Yeah I’m fucked.

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