People know how to keep tabs on me. OR not! Well. What I want to say is… No I forgot again. Hmm… I have a goal. I have at least one goal. It is to get reintouch with gaming culture. Shalla alla alla. =)

I still don’t understand it. I’ve been grappling with this problem for years. Sometimes there is no right answer. I still don’t understand it. How can that be? There is no path. There is no life. You are not dead. But existence? Questionable. The gray area. When this happens, what do you do? I don’t […]

think I might be autistic. Or somethig’s definitely wrong with me. I have to sleep a lot and I can’t handle like just a few hours in front of the computer. Life doens’t require that much time in front of the computer so I”m in luck. But ther’es also no escaping it. Unless you get […]

I lied in bed a bit, half an hour, almost as if that were–why do I am used to typing tap tap tap so rapidly in high schoole veryone the essay wrote so quickly wtf? I rested in bed. Almost like that werea form of rest. Stomach ache. Hollow empty burps of milk and coffee. […]

It is pretty much the worst deal that I can’t just do nothing. If I could, I would be so happy and relaxed. Not sure why I have to be the imaginary butt-fucker. I just want to relax and settle on my own. Solitude. Why are things perpetually in my way.

It’s not God. It’s not… religion. But yeah. That amazing stuff. The books. Art. My mom. Her suffering. Her job. Her sacrifice. Her DUTY. MY DUTY. We share. Father’s duty. Duty. I finally know how bad it has been for her. And I still have no idea. I want it quiet more. I just have […]

Fuck I’m fucked. The way I fit in is so sick. I have a stomach issue. I drink too much coffee. It’s bad because… Doctors preach at me that it is? No it’s fine. Really it’s fine. I haven’t identified it as a problem yet. People who are less logical and more panicky than me […]

I hate telepathy. It ruins privacy and the joy of solitude. Aloneness is so valuable. Telepathy kills that. All these police states killing everything. Once my schizoaffective disorder goes away or the meds reach optimal dose I won’t be telepathic, and everyone involved around me won’t be telepathic. Then we can fucking gun down the […]

I’ve tried to reconnect with old ties out of the blue. It’s not like the short stories of Western literature. It doesn’t work. No one cares about you unless they really want to fuck you and marry you. Friendship is a fickle concept in America. I know this as a 0/1 gen immigrant. Thanks.