I am feeling more alone than I normally do. Normally I feel psychotic so I have more on my hands, chaos and destruction, violence, threats, barbarism, animalistic attitudes, fear, horror, terror…

But now that seems to be, something clicked today, it is rewinding, but it did click at one point today.

So, the depression, the loneliness, now, I wonder if, maybe, will I have to figure out how to deal with those now?

Father likes engineering but not physics. Because by physics most commoners mean theoretical extreme physics, which is real hippy trippy stuff. Engineering is more like spacex tesla. Yeah.

Brother is into spacex tesla too. I love them. Man. We live in such a time for spaceflight. It’s amazing.

The loss for assault weapons today because of the supreme court is idiotic. Their only argument can only ever be to fight a police state you need a gun. But we don’t live in times like that. It doesn’t work like that anymore. We have what we call trust. It exists.

There’s hope. I’m so bleakly alive, but there’s hope.

Wow. The things I have said… and done? Who knows.

I want to sleep all day. But I won’t.

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