It’s getting harder for me to type which is the beginning of the end, but I must carry one. I must.

No. The depression. No. I just can’t… I’m sorry… =(

Lots of dreams last night. A nap today. Dreamt I could have a hobby of poetry.

Nothing seems to fix me. Life is so difficult. Nothing to live for.


I want fulfillment.

I think everyone does. Right?

And I want… good movies.

Please, WB, make something for people with ADHD. Can you do that?


I insulted Nick. I threatened him. He’s gone. If I come back to my senses he can go out with me, because he’s alright. He’s got his shit together. I’m the angry low one. But I like playing it like he’s the dork.

Whatever It’s done.

And we’re up to date. Why didn’t I realize I could just say more with less!?

Need to finish Spool (the stupidest book ever) so I can read science fiction and be inspired for the hope of the future.

He’s just astounded what he found behind his back. How much loathing and insanity there was.

I guess… I’m a bad person…

Chocolate churro. Churro chocolate treat. It’s so good! Fair trade certified, by whom I don’t know but at least.

Need to help dad get the washing machine (old) down the last flight of stairs.

Need to play Academagia. Such a good game.

I wonder how many classes you can afford to skip sort of without there starting to pop up problems of detention and the sort.

I’m tactless. It’s dumbfounding.

No one has time for me except mommy. She has to work, too, though.

I’ll have to test some samples this week. Interesting. I’m trained and qualified. But I haven’t gone at it for a week and a half or so. Hmm…

More coffee.

Then another post.

Or an update to this one.

Elon Musk says in my head says, “Go out and do something, or you know, stay at home and play ping pong–WHAT’S WRONG WITH BEING HUMAN!? =D”

And he’s, you know, right. What’s wrong with being human? We learn by doing, not by memorizing the master plan, unless maybe you’re in med school but I don’t know how med school works but probably not even in med school. You gain expeirence with something you get better at it growth is organic. It’s not a rush a race to first. It’s just life baby. We’re on this rock things happen. Why worry. Why bother why the waste. Go go go.



I lose myself sometimes.

And I don’t know why.

But things will be okay.

I think things will be okay.

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