i’m ruined

i have to do what i want, ghost of baby brother is right

he’s still alive but he moaned and bitched about his depression so hard that he fucking horrified all of us

I’m still reeling

i cry like twice a day now

emotional instability from the sza i guess

aren’t brain diseases easy things to blame problems on

but what

you rather be average?

No i publish books of poetry

self-publish is not publish dog

uhhh it is

we relearned the worrrrrd


dog in the sky

i have gotten into so many arguments with so many people in my head

and i don’t know if a single one of them is real

it blows my mind

i really, really don’t know what’s real anymore

and if there were something that could take my breath away

i would consume it

and if i knew how to get a good night’s rest

i would do that too

people are telling me how to minmax my life to happy the most

when that’s only one variable


probably no one is

mom just wants me to get more sleep

she’s gonna bitch at me tomorrow again

for not


and i am haunted

i’m just haunted

why everything

i want some empty for once


now my room smells like semen

garbagey gross fish smell



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