Mom and modern western healthcare say to do something boring to fall asleep. I counterargue that–nope, interrupted by ADHD. What were we talking about? Robot TVs invading the universe again? Whoops! Someone’s fault possibly.

Also I just can’t really do much of anything tonight because I’m just fucked by my voices. The narrator IS other people. And everyone fucking sucks the life out of me with their ego. It’s amazing. I don’t know if I’ve ever met anyone good.

Father has this miraculous ability to make the most unpleasant sounds with his mouth. He also HAS yelled at my brother that he will break down his door before, cuz he needed the keys to his cars which he bought with his retirement money and I don’t know, if he can afford in sum, how […]

Life is so miserable. My mother always says others chose their suffering, when she hasn’t chosen hers I suppose. Obviously. Either that or I’m wrong and she’ll call me stupid and somehow it makes sense to choose your suffering. In any case. She was busy making me things I don’t need–sort of like dad but… […]

Sorry, I, as one mentally ill individual, can only do so much to stand up for my own rights in a psychic police state. It’s hard. =(

The art of communication. I need to refine mine. Also. Strange things. ADHD. Hmm. Used to be able to focus. Well. What did I come here to say?… … … … Never mind.

I don’t, people are horrifying evil demons bent on making my illness worse, so it’s like, telepathy at best, and then ridicule and dementia at worst. Whoops! Oh well. I mean, I don’t feel like associated with these ninnies. So I talk to myself here. Ugh. But monologue only gets you so far. Sigh…

I have nowhere to go and tonight is not going to be good for my mental illness. I don’t know that… I guess I just have to go to the ER. They finally cornered me. It’s mostly the inconvenience and horror of it that keeps me from doing it. Last time I was in deadly […]

I reallocated some of my investment strats in my retirement for my current job (which I am scared of losing). I’m currently, psychosis, schizoaffective flares, acting up. It is, I’m not. I’m peaceful as a butterfly. Jesus. Wow. Life is so harsh. I feel horrified. I need more inanimate objects tho. I wish this didn’t […]