My attention span is completely shot. I don’t know what to do. I’m miserable most of the time. When I’m on the spot, even a little, I cop out like ah it’s not imprtant or fuck it just live another day or some garbagey shit like that. I still have delusions. Yes. I still have […]

I fit no market niche in modern society because I am the only hero you will ever hear about trying to improve things. Thanks for giving back.

It makes me wonder: What was I doing with all my time previously? Sleeping all day? Really? And before that? Surely I had work before that? But what of free time? Mental illness, completely, and just surviving? And now it seems that time stretches on even more slowly! without! the mental illness. Having myself a […]

I honestly just don’t want to work on this script anymore. Fuck. Wow. But my mind feels more open than it normally is. I don’t know why. Maybe the depakote finally kicked in, now that I’m rapidly tapering off and it started destroying my liver. I mean, it was at peak a few days ago, […]

I just can’t work on this coding anymore. I have all weekend to work on it. I just have to go out for a few hours this weekend for activities but that’s about it. So otherwise I could relaxedly just work on it. But I’m so stressed (I hate that word!) about working on it […]

Dad is playing a trance album I gave him on disc downstairs in the garage loudly, it’s annoying because I feel like I’ve directly funded terrorism. Lol. Well anyway he’s an idiot. Baka baka baka. I miss Nick. I don’t know. He was just, a good person to have around when things were not bad. […]