Finally, a mote of life in my life. What is this emptiness. This nothing that fucks me and fucks me again. I don’t like sex now or ever. What happened to nature.

Nurture too.

What happened to anything.

I have an afternoon apt with my kratom get off kratom forever doctor. Ugh. There’s a doctor for everything isn’t there. I feel like my physician was disappointed the other day I didn’t want to go on thyroid hormone supplements. The test says mine is low. But, mom wants me to test again to see if it can recover on its own. I have to wait like a month and a half for that.

Well I don’t care. It is.

It is.

But my LIFE most definitely IS NOT. There is nothing to it. Why. I want more.

I want something at all.

I have a loving family. That doesn’t participate.

I have a job. That doesn’t keep me occupied.

I have artistic pursuits. That don’t nourish my soul.

It seems I have everything and everything doesn’t do its job nowadays.

Wonder why everything I depend on is so lazy.


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