Life is so pointless. Life is so meaningless. I want to be safe. But authority threatens that. There is no lockian contract because I haven’t read locke. Therefore I don’t know therefore it doesn’t exist in my mind therefore it doesn’t exist in my universe.

Or how do I discover it?

Something so abstract as a social contract.

I don’t socialize.

I have social anxiety disorder. That’s really my only disease. I’m not schizoaffective. That’s overkill and they just wanted to medicate me.

No I do. I’ve been terrified so heavily. Nightmare is existence the nightmares while conscious walking through the airport they want to get you.

Walking through the neighborhood society wants to get you.

It’s so scary.

And my brain is shit.

And I don’t know what to do.

How do I be anything useful or fun. Or what is the point of any of this. I have no resources but money.

And money is useless in a market like this. I’ve said this a million times. There’s nothing to buy.

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